Americans shocked at Geneva convention

first_img Comments are closed. This week’s guruAmericans shocked at Geneva conventionSo, just as Personnel Today predicted, that slow moving European juggernauton staff consultation was finally agreed. At least now the CBI will have tocome up with a strategy that goes beyond blank denial. But if the CBI is having difficulty coming to terms with it, then UScompanies operating in Europe haven’t got a chance. At a roof-top drinks do in the City, an American chum of Guru’s explainedthat US companies rarely realise the staff responsibilities that come withhaving a European presence. As a legal type he has attempted to warn more thanone American CEO about the dangers of opening a European HQ in Geneva for taxpurposes. “What!” screamed one in his ear, “When I make themredundant after six months, I’ve got to tell them first and pay them a year’ssalary. That’s crazy!” Still seeking the perfect 10 It is not just footballers who deal in clichés. Guru was introduced to lingobingo the other day. Each player gets a card with 10 of the best-loved businessclichés on it. To win you simply have to guess the corporate-speak on otherpeople’s cards. Included in Guru’s list was “Singing from the same hymn sheet, movingthe goalposts, win-win situation, who’s in control of the dancefloor, touchbase, I’ll see if I have a window, it’s a no-brainer, do we have closure?,hyperarchy, step-change, leverage our position, edutainment and learningorganisation”. Unfortunately, Guru lost abysmally to a go-getting consultant in changemanagement who rattled them out like a machine gun. Can anybody come up with a better list of 10? It’s pants when you’re on parade Guru was relieved to hear that Mickey and Minnie Mouse have won the right towear their own clean underwear. Staff who play the cartoon characters at Walt Disney World, Florida, were forcedto wear company-issued jock straps and tights beneath the costumes becausenormal underwear has a tendency to bunch and be visible. But staff complained that the underwear was not cleaned properly, afterseveral caught pubic lice and scabies. Pluto and the gang will now get pantsthey can take home each night and clean themselves, and they’ll all livehappily ever after (except the lice). Will it be chicken feed if they sue?Guru is calling for all disciples to stop taking the rise out ofvegetarians. Not only is it unfair to call them “sandal-wearinglefties”, but it might drop you in the soup (leek and potato, of course).A leading vegan organisation is calling on its members to use the Human RightsAct to defend themselves against discrimination. London Vegans is also demanding that employers treat vegetarianism as areligion. A spokesman said, “We will use the Human Rights Act if we arediscriminated against at work. You can get quite harassed if you are a vegan.”Well, for one Guru has never abused the resident tree-hugging hippy in hisoffice, and he always eats his veal sandwich discreetly. Previous Article Next Article Related posts:No related photos. Americans shocked at Geneva conventionOn 19 Jun 2001 in Personnel Todaylast_img

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