Previous Article Next Article This week’s guruOch no, just checking ma loose changePersonnel director of Corus Allan Johnston was obviously trying to put adifficult few months of redundancy consultation behind him as a delegate on theannual HR jamboree aboard the P&0 flagship, the Oriana. He donned full Scottish regalia – a striking tartan kilt – and drowned hissorrows at the bar until 2am. In trying to pay for drinks, he surprised the waiters when he rummagedaround in his sporran for his credit card. One of his managers at the steelworks in Newport, South Wales, could have donewith a protective sporran. David Horne was zapped in the testicles with a stungun after he told an employee off for sloppy work. Horne clenched his teeth sohard he later needed dental treatment. The father-and-son assailants pleaded guilty in a Cardiff court to theattack.War of words in numbers game Unpopularity is often a hallmark of being a chief executive but Camelot’schief Dianne Thompson has taken it to a new level. She told the 450 HR professionals on the Oriana that after successfullybidding to become the Lottery operator for a second term she started to receivehate mail. One accused her of being a greedy fat cow who should work for nothing,adding that although it was the season of goodwill he wished a plague andpestilence on her. It all came to a head during the recent scandal over the lost Lotteryticket. Thompson was on a treadmill in her gymnasium when she spotted a fellowgym user reading the front page of the Daily Mirror. It showed Thompson wearinga Victorian skullcap with the headline “Mrs Scrooge”. Ah, the joys ofsuccess. High rollers on the high seas E-technology, work culture, staff motivation and effective communicationwere the serious issues of the day on the Oriana. But at one of the tables in the ship’s Oriental Restaurant diners were moreconcerned about how many HR professionals would wear glasses to dinner, howmany would injure themselves on the dance floor and which Beatles hit the bandwould play first. If it moved, the MD and director of one HR IT solutions company would bet onit. The wager? The loser had to drive the other home – not an easy taskconsidering the size of their hangovers. Wanted: school-leaver for dogsbody E-recruitment might be all the rage but sometimes it can make a dog’s dinnerof it. Mike Johnson, author of Winning the People War, told delegates on theOriana that one company managed to offer a job to a 12-year-old schoolboy. Hismother informed the company that he couldn’t come to work that day because hehad a maths test at school. In another case, a headhunter attempted to recruit a dog called Neville.Quite how Neville managed to use a PC is uncertain. His career was short-livedand the office yucca plant has never been recovered. Neville should go to Denmark, where a company called DMZ employs a dog inits reception. When staff feel the urge they can take it for a walk. Comments are closed. GuruOn 15 May 2001 in Personnel Today Related posts:No related photos.